"Let the little children come to me.."

Hello blogosphere! I'm back to tell you some exciting news & to covet your prayers.

To celebrate our one-year anniversary, Tim and I have decided to take a week trip to Columbia and Panama. The motivation for this trip is to visit a very special little boy that God has sovereignly allowed Tim to meet about 5 years ago through an organization called “Compassion International.” His name is Alberto Jose Arrieta Zabaleta and he’s a nine-year-old living in the projects about 20 minutes southeast of Cartagena, Columbia where Tim and I will be staying.

Compassion International is an organization whose commitment and mission I respect and increasingly grow in love for. In the past, I participated in humanitarian programs like Amizade (the Portuguese word for “friendship”) and Habitat for Humanity in different areas of Latin America. I have come to appreciate those as primarily mercy ministries where the focus is on providing physical aid and shelter and increasing potential.

As I got married, God has taught me more about His incredible love for children through books like “Adopted for Life” by Russell Moore and passages like Matthew 11:25 and 19:14. Serving at Lighthouse Bible Church’s Fireflies ministry has given me a glimpse of how significant and precious a call it is to raise a child up in the fear and admonition of the Lord – to be honest, this terrifies me as I think about how I might be given care over my own little one’s soul in the next few years. It's because I’ve witnessed how important the formative years are in shaping a child’s growth & instilling Truth. It is important to provide physical amenities, but also to take in consideration the important task of sowing seeds of the gospel.

It’s because of all these things that I’m thankful for organizations like Compassion International. They are crystal clear in their commitment to the Word and state in their mission statement that they exist "as an advocate for children, to release them from their spiritual, economic, social and physical poverty and enable them to become responsible and fulfilled Christian adults."

They are "Christ centered, child focused, church based, and committed to integrity." You can find out more for yourself via the Compassion website.

As God provides these opportunities to support those who are doing gospel work overseas, especially in the lives of children, I am growing in my urgency & joy in being a part of it. There's no shortage of organizations that are trying to also do this kind of work - I encourage you to look into one you're passionate about & invest in eternal things!

If you have time, please pray for our time in Cartagena:

• · That we’d be able to build a relationship with Alberto & his family
• · For wisdom and discernment re: cultural differences & spiritual exhortation
• · For opportunities to share of our faith in the one true gospel
• · For travel safety
• · That Christ would be the one to shine the most brightly in our lives, and that we would give all glory to Him in all things

We are growing more and more excited and nervous as our ETA draws nearer! We will be gone from April 13^th-20^th. Thank you for praying for us friends, and we’ll make sure to post pictures & updates once we get back!

the word "alto"

“Alto” is a familiar Spanish word - it means “STOP” and is pasted on every red octagonal stop sign in Latin America. It was also one of the first words I learned in the language, but not as an imperative, as an adjective. Alto also meaning, “high. upward. tall.”

Stephanie es alta.

True and false. Stephanie is not tall or high or upward. But she has stopped. Stopped what?

Somewhere along the way, I’ve graduated college, traveled for work, got engaged & married…and stopped. Writing, that is.

Life has a way of revealing bitter realities to you - most people in this world don’t truly want your best. They just want you to hurry up, or at least get out of the way so you don’t hold up the rest of the line. That’s one I learned in 2008.

Another was…my thoughts are not so special or original. Everything I wrote in college - at the Goldfish Cafe, at the Claire de Lune Cafe; in any cafe that set the mood with vintage furniture, bright colored walls, big cups and chai lattes - seemed truly inspired. But as I got older, it became harder to find the one golden thread amongst the thousands of brown ones. Maybe it’s because I could only imagine things unfolding a certain way. Maybe creativity does have its limitations & that’s why everything in this world just keeps repeating itself. Repeating itself. Repeating itself.

And slowly, but surely, I began to believe that my inspiration was truly spent and that I hit the wall, my dreams intangible and only attainable in wistful asides.

But I learned something, early for even this young, fresh 2011. As God creates every man into His image, and makes each creature refreshingly unique, yet universally connected for all our heartaches, troubles, goals, sins through One Creator, what motivates & propels us forward isn’t the hope for ingenuity or winning the rat race, but the hope for something greater. The upward call. Christ. I’d write more about this, but one of my resolutions is to finish what I start - and I don’t think I’d be able to finish that thought here.

So even though most people would rather you hole away in your home forever than clog up the fast lane on the freeway, I find there are a precious few who have also received the calling to make their lives about something much more essential than picketing about and stamping their feet over their own preferences and petty jealousies - finding the glory of God and turning it all back to Him, and loving people, truly loving them and being loved in return.

Alto. Here’s to hoping that Stephanie es alta this 2011 - not Stephanie is stop,as I was much of 2010.Stephanie is upward! I don’t care if that doesn’t make sense - I’m terribly rusty at writing now, but I’m confident it’ll come back to me, as an old friend.

If I take the next two, three posts to rant about my break-up with writing, bear with me. I give you full permission to skim or *gasp* not read at all.

shortcomings.

"O Living God,

I bless Thee that I see the worst of my heart as well as the best of it,

that I can sorrow for those sins that carry me from Thee,

that it is Thy deep and dear mercy to threaten punishment

so that I may return, pray, live.

My sin is to look on my fault and be discouraged,

or to look on my good and be puffed up.

I fall short of Thy glory every day by spending hours unprofitably,

by thinking that the things I do are good,

when they are not done to Thy end,

nor spring from the rules of Thy Word.

My sin is to fear what will never be;

I forget to submit to Thy will, and fail to be quiet there.

But Scripture teaches me that Thy active will reveals a steadfast purpose on my behalf,

and this quietens my soul, and makes me love Thee.

Keep me always in the understanding that saints mourn more for sin than other men,

for when they see how great is Thy wrath against sin,

and how Christ's death alone pacifies that wrath,

that makes them mourn the more.

Help me to see that although I am in the wilderness

it is not all briars and barrenness.

I have bread from heaven, streams from the rock, light by day, fire by night,

Thy dwelling place and Thy mercy seat.

I am sometimes discouraged by the way,

but though winding and trying, it is safe and short;

Death dismays me, but my Great High Priest stands in its waters,

and will open me a passage,

and beyond it is a better country.

While I live, let me life be exemplary,

when I die, may my end be peace."

- "Shortcomings, Valley of Vision."

belated father's day.

yesterday tim & i went up to LA to celebrate the most underrated holiday of the year - fajah's day =). i sincerely think father's day got the short end of the stick when it comes to holidays. people get excited over memorial day, labor day, president's day, st. patrick's day, mother's day...not to mention the big cheese holidays: thanksgiving, christmas, new years, etc. any holiday that: a) gets them the day off of work or school, or b) involves presents.

i wish that weren't the case. in my heart, i wish i did so much more for my dad yesterday than take him out to dinner. i wish i could do something grand enough for him to lift away the burdens from his shoulders, something that could show the fullest expression of my gratitude for his years of hard work.

but that's not really what he wants. whenever we ask him what he wants for his birthday or christmas, his answer is the same, unfailingly: "i just want to spend time with you guys." haha, inevitably, we go out and buy the latest gadget for him anyway (the latest: the kindle from amazon courtesy of pj & the sis) which we know he loves fiddling around with.

marriage has done a many amazing things - for one thing, it finally dawned on me that i haven't understood my parents for most of my life (and still). it's like a cloud's been lifted from my head and i'm starting to see things clearly. some of the thoughts i've had in the past few months were:

• "whoa, mom is really good at (fill in the blank)" - this thought comes to my mind whenever she comes down and "tsks" over my inadequate house cleaning & leaves the place sparkling, goes out with me to pick furniture, decorate the house, organize, etc. she's a master of the home, and i am just beginning to learn from her.
• "i didn't know dad knew that about me" - during our wedding reception, my dad was really frank in his speech about my weaknesses & strengths and encouraged tim and me to continue to grow as individuals within our marriage, to help each other love Christ. i vividly remember some of the stuff he said, things i hadn't put to words yet but must've known in my heart. i'm learning to listen to him more closely when he shares advice & his thoughts.
• "this must be how they felt" - my parents got married when they were about the same age that tim and i are now, maybe a year earlier? anyway. the world tells me that i'm too young to be married, and a lot of times i'm tempted to agree - especially when i show signs of immaturity, inexperience, lack of perseverence....when my horns are especially green, my feet are extra tender. i look back and wonder how they did it - my mom was young, married, and in a foreign country where she had no friends or family. my dad was working a lot, dealing with family issues, and trying to be the lead for his wife. and neither of them were saved. they didn't have the community i have at church, surrounded by a crowd of believers who have been running the race & encouraging us as newlyweds that the way is narrow, but good - that there is great hope in Christ and the gospel, especially when things get hard.

tim asked me on the drive up to LA, "what's your earliest memory of your dad?" hard as i tried, i couldn't remember very much, sad i know. i was an overly excitable, rambunctious, spunky kid, so a lot of my memories were of getting into trouble by my dad. i know if i rack my brain hard enough, i'd be able to recall some meaningful father-daughter moments (like our tradition of going to baskin robbins & blockbusters, this one korean folksy song he'd sing and i'd finish, the talks i'd have with him as i grew older, the one time i had a migraine in jr. high & he picked me up and rented the sequel to lion king and made me canned soup, etc.)

yet i know why i'm so deeply thankful for my dad - he's been the one person over the past 24 years that has shown me what it means to love unconditionally, how to stand by someone even when it hurts, an example of what it means to live by principle & also passion.

he told me when i made the decision not to go to graduate school, "i'm so disappointed. i don't know how i'll be able to get over this. but, you're still my daughter, and i will always love you." at the time, those words crushed me, but looking back, i marvel at the depth of love behind his words. he had big dreams, huge hopes for his girls, but he wasn't going to reject us if we didn't embrace his expectations for our lives. he just wanted the best for us, for us to max out our potential and see what it's like to be at the top of our game, to be filled out emotionally, spiritually and experientially as adults.

my dad is a reminder to me of my relationship to my Heavenly Father, really. the difference, of course, is that my dad is flawed & imperfect, a sinner. but, the same way i know i can run to my dad, i know i come to the throne of grace to my Loving and Perfect Father with nothing to offer, no wisdom to impart, but fully embraced & protected. how could God rescue me? this wretched & forgetful hater of good? how does He keep patiently teaching me & loving me, shepherding my thoughts & motives to worship? how does He embrace His prodigal son and weep for joy at his return? more than my helplessness or depravity, this proclaims His mercy & lovingkindness, His longsuffering and compassion.

i love my dad, with all my heart. he's not an old codger yet (still in his early 50's!), but it's humbling to see time take its toll on his body & energy too. i have an eternity to spend with my Father in heaven, but this one life to appreciate and honor my earthly dad.

cajun chicken pasta.

tim gave me my first under-4 rating (out of 5 stars)! i whipped this together using a recipe on a blog i follow. yummmMmm. it looked delicioso on the original post. but my cajun chicken pasta looked NOTHING like it was supposed to. i don't think it was supposed to be as saucy as it turned out to be, and the colors were supposed to be much more vibrant. also, if computers had taste-o-vision, i'm sure it didn't taste anything like it was supposed to either.

but no worries! i liked it because of the kick from the cajun & cayenne spices. however, as mentioned in a previous post, the hubs bubs has very different taste buds from mine, sSooooOo tim gave it a 3.5.

whoa!!! i think the only reason he rated it so high was because the parmesan garlic bread was the bomb diggity - i'll definitely be making that again.

cajun chicken pasta (cajun spice, cayenne pepper, heavy whipping cream, linguini pasta, onions, bell peppers, veg oil, butter, garlic): al dente pasta - nom nom nom, spicy cajun chicken sauce - up for debate. it was too spicy for tim, perfecto for me.

parmesan garlic bread (parmesan flakes, garlic, butter): delishiouzz!! crunchy crust, chewy bread, savory - did i mention bread is THE ultimate? i can eat an entire baguette in one sitting. so good - especially the costco la brea bakery breads when they've JUST been baked.

oven-roasted broccoli (broccoli, salt, pepper, garlic): soft & chewy, mild. this was the healthy portion of the meal.

=) i haven't been posting up too many of our cooking adventures lately because we've been going on mini-vacays & attending weddings. photos from those will probably go into one massive post. also, we've been getting busier & busier lately. our meal planning, scheduling, & budgeting is getting more organized out of sheer necessity - there are some nights both of us have stuff to do & can't eat dinner at home.

strangely enough, it's during this busy time that God is quieting my heart & reminding me of the need to meditate on His truths to take me through the day to day in a way that is pleasing to Him and a blessing to my husband. it's by His superabundant grace that the meditations of my heart and the words of my mouth don't act as poison, but a healing balm.

it's a little known fact, but we trekked through the valleys very early on in our marriage. for a while, the shadow of my sins & struggles suffocated & paralyzed me. it's true that we had our honeymoon phase in exploring places & hobbies together & being excited about the novelties, but in our young marriage, God has already begun to form conviction in our hearts regarding love, church, children, finances. i openly admit that i am not a great wife - our house is always in slight disarray, i'm forgetful, i constantly prioritize work over the things that i need to do at home, i'm a spitfire & argumentative (though i know i seem lighthearted & calm to most).

but it's amazing how the Lord works all for good - we're hugely imperfect, but most certainly, there have been signs of growth and a deeper appreciation for how the gospel of Christ is one of mercy & not merit. we're resolved not to pursue just happiness in our marriage. we're being taught to strive to see the overwhelming greater-ness and faithfulness of God in all of life's joys & hardships. may we always become lesser and Him greater - this is the growing desire of the Yu's!

"real gold fears no fire..." - safely home by randy alcorn.

nick of time.

ever wonder where idioms originate from? i have a couple books that identify the birth place of the popular english phrases we throw around day-to-day. ever wonder where the phrase "nick of time" came from? well, i did. and i looked it up (<-- click & find out) and now i know. i love the english language - it's as if the languages of the world came to america in cahoots. it's a language that constantly evolves & changes & adds words, etc. well, ENEEwaiz...

after a whole week of going into work covered in paint primer (the stuff doesn't come off easy!) the kitchen has been repainted just in the nick of time ;). after a 4.5 day whirlwind business trip from baltimore to d.c., the hubs is landing in san diego in T-6 hours - hurray!!! finally =). somewhere before then, i'd like to walk the dog (i'm dog-sitting this week) & paint the living room. but for now, i'm thankful tim has a clean kitchen to walk into & not a hurricane.

without further ado,


=) my readers get the first sneak peek. what thinks you? i ended up picking a pale grey with blue undertones to complement the brown, tan, white color scheme we've got going on in our house - in certain lighting, it looks lavendar, which made me panic in the beginning. BUT it grew on me, and now i think it's just lovely. =) praise our good God for giving us hands to paint & hubbies to surprise!

* EDIT: he loves it!! purple weirdness and all! =)

think outside the bun.

the yu excursions into DIY life have so far been MOSTLY successful. coffee white cabinets - check! new knobs & hinges - check! furnishing the family room - check! painting the living room - check! coffee white wood paneling in the kitchen - check! bright mcdonald's orange kitchen - ch-...

...-eck. ECKK!!!! my childhood love for fast food has superseded my ability to interior design. in all honesty, i did my research. i found pictures of beautiful kitchens painted bright tangerines paired with soft whites - they looked so welcoming, happy, cheerful, kitchen-y. here's a couple pictures of what i had initially pictured in my mind:

so beautiful =). the warm orange tones create such a homey and cozy atmosphere...right?...i can't tell you what went through my mind as i finished the big wall in our dining room and took a step back at my fast-food kitchen. i was hoping to shock tim by finishing the kitchen before he came back from work. it did not go as planned. i sincerely hoped that maybe the color would soften or something when it dried...nope! i also hoped that tim, as an objective second party, would reassure me and say he loved it. well. well. WELL...?!??

well, we gave it a couple hours. we puttered back and forth through the kitchen taking care of things around the house & whatnot, glancing sadly at our mcdonald's wall...until we both sighed & gave into the inevitable. on goes the primer, on goes the search for a good paint color.

sadness! (uh..don't let the pictures of tim painting by his lonesome fool you, by the way. we work on these things together, like a team! heh heh heh). tim's away on a 5-day business trip to baltimore. i went to home depot yesterday and picked a new paint color. mwahaha, let the madness ensue. i'm really hoping this next color works out.

hahaha. i'm lovin' it. we're in process, but don't let that stop you from coming over! just because our dining room is chaotic doesn't mean our kitchen's broken...food is still being made. let's gather round the good stuff. come hungry, leave happy. don't worry, i don't feed tim junky foods all the time, we think outside the bun and eat fresh. that's eatin' good in the neighborhood. (five points for whoever can name all the fast food references correctly. hahahaha).