superficiality & substance.

haha..what have i been beating my head over for the last few years? i think david wayne made such a good point about people and solid relationships.

http://jollyblogger.typepad.com/jollyblogger/2008/12/superficiality-as-the-foundation-for-meaningful-relationships.html

I think the Dane was saying that "conversations that 'matter'" are an important part of relationships but they aren't the be all and end all of them. I don't think you can ever get to those until you've gotten good and comfortable with the more superficial and trivial conversations. I mean really, it would be "deep" if my wife and I got into a conversation about the merits of supralapsarianism vs. infralapsarianism, but that won't "deepen" our relationship near as much as knowing that she likes tulips and I hate fish and me telling some silly story that makes her laugh. Similarly, when it comes to my guy friends, I always enjoy a deep theological conversation, and in the church there is lots of business that needs to be discussed, but those are the conversations of associates. Relationships are built on deep conversations about SEC football and endless "oh yeah, that's nothing, I can top that" stories.

Angels can fly because they take themselves lightly; devils fall because of their gravity.

to reach the pearl at the depths of an ocean, you have to first break the surface of the waves. this sounds so simple + fascinating to me. for so long i've been under the impression that no conversation is a good conversation if you haven't talked about your sins, wept a little, prayed for each other, talked about your exegesis through biblical text [i exaggerate a little, but you get the gist].

what's the best way to love someone the way God loved His people? get to know them, understand what gives them joy + serve them in that capacity, understand their weaknesses and run alongside them. care about them enough to build trust so that at the end of the day, when it comes down to sharing the sins, weeping over struggles + asking for accountability, there will be vulnerability, trust and honesty. be a friend.