"hesed."

"The Hebrew concept of hesed is “unfailing love.” It expresses one of the most beautiful concepts in Scripture. There are two main thoughts intertwined in this compelx Hebrew word. The first is that of mercy or kindness. The second is faithfulness (lamentations 3:22-23)" (Dee Brestin).

“A best friendship with a thinking person can be a catalyst in your life, helping you to reach beyond that which you’ve known before" (Dee Brestin)

those quotes about friendship and love between women are amazing to me. i read it from a book written on that very subject. i appreciate and am thankful for the brothers in my life, but the intimacy, comfort, empathy and fun that can be generated between two women is one that can't be recreated or impersonated between a man and a woman in the context of a friendship.

i made a day trip to san diego on friday night to spend the saturday with a small group of some of my closest college girl friends. the occasion was to have one last hurrah with one of the girls who's moving away to san jose on tuesday.

it was definitely a bittersweet day. in the morning before we all got together, keziah and i went to breakfast...we talked about how some of the closest friendships we've made over the years were formed through times of sweet joy and incredible friction. it reminded me of the metaphor that's famously used to describe how something beautiful can be created out of ugliness: an oyster makes a pearl through the constant irritation of a grain of sand.

A "natural pearl" is one that formed without any human intervention at all, in the wild, and is very rare. A "cultured pearl", on the other hand, is one that has been formed on a pearl farm. The great majority of pearls on the market are cultured pearls (wikipedia)

God's shown us incredible grace in the natural pearls He's placed in our lives. it's so much crazier when i think about how rare it is to have sisters like the ones that are in my life. it's special & possible because of the indwelling Spirit in us (acts 15:8). human effort can't generate or maintain friendships like these. they're sustained by the love of Christ that spurs us on (galatians 2:20).

For one will hardly die for a righteous man; though perhaps for the good man someone would dare even to die. But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us. Much more then, having now been justified by His blood, we shall be saved from the wrath of God through Him (romans 5:7-9)

we love each other, support each other, miss each other. we learn about and from each other and become more like each other, balance out our differences + treasure the lessons that used to grate at us. through these girls, i've received words of comfort, biggest "i've-missed-you" hugs, harshest words of rebuke, random times of greatest fun. these friendships cost us a lot of personal sacrifice, hits to our pride and emotional pain. because of that, they caused us to grow the most. suffice it to say, these friendships were some of the hardest, but they ended up being the most worth it.

don't get me wrong. not every worthwhile friendship needs to undergo the heat, but when two friends go through the fire together and emerge in tact, the dross is removed and the silver shines brighter than before.

a real friend is one that doesn't stand by and watch you drown in your stubborn patterns of sin. they're the ones that gather the courage to gently confront and take you back to Christ. (proverbs 27:6) they show grace when you get discouraged by repeating failures. they choose to stay when the friendship goes through a season of rocks + tension. they see you, know you and tell you how God's working in your life better than you could ever objectively say.

a real friend is one who shares your zeal for the kingdom of God. they understand your desire for heaven while helping you rejoice in your time on earth. they're worth persevering, working, searching for...and if God decides for that season of friendship to quietly fade, these are women whom you can continue to love & pray for & desire to see do well, even from a distance.

“Love covers a multitude of sins" (1 Peter 4:8)