baubles + things.

(not relevant to the post. just thought it was hilarious + true. well. maybe it is relevant....)

wedding planning has been one gigantaur learning process. i think this period is an especially trying time for brides - women are built to love pretty things and we deeply care about the details even though we will probably not care too much about them on the big day.

I've already gone through two phases of the wedding planning process. These probably differ from bride to bride, but here are mine:

• Phase I - Bridezillamon: This was probably the weirdest time for me because I honestly never knew that I would care much about the little things. And there are SO MANY little things!: invitations, favors, accessories, accents, colors, desserts, makeup, hair (that's the short list). And budget-wise, the BIG things - venue, food, photography, flowers, bridal party outfits, oo la la, oh boy...
  
• After coming out of the "We're engaged" glow, I busied myself in attempts to plan the perfect wedding for Tim and me. A couple months of scouring the web for the most picturesque wedding sites, the artsy yet au natural photographer and a feminine/vintage-style wedding dress, we still had nothing planned. We had booked a venue, but after some consideration, decided against holding our wedding there. I have NEVER cried so much in so many consecutive days - the wedding day felt very far away and yet seemed to be approaching too quickly at the same time. praise the Lord, no big decisions were made during this time and we came out of it still engaged and ready to enter...
  

• Phase II - Not Care-mon: After a couple months of being a wedding micromanaging warrior queen, Tim suggested we take a break from the planning - to regain some perspective, to detach ourselves (by that, I'm guessing we were talking about just me) from the little things, take a breather. As much as I hated doing it, I stopped bookmarking links, flipping through wedding mags, making plans for DIY projects. Fast forward one month later: I did gain some... type..of perspective and decided that I didn't care about the trinkets + little baubles + things anymore. Tim grew concerned because I had grown ultra content in not searching for anything. No preferences were declared. Annnnd....we were at a standstill.

I'm happy to say that Tim and I are slowly entering Phase III together, that is the - Getting Married is Not about the Wedding but what comes After-mon stage. It shouldn't come as a surprise that this is the phase that I am enjoying the most BY FAR. Tim and I have a renewed sense of being in this together - that might sound ridiculo since we are engaged, but there's this feeling of shared purpose and excitement. We went venue searching last Saturday - and it was so much fun. I forgot to bring CD's, so we sang disney songs at the top of our lungs and munched on snacks + observed venues with a healthy level of interest...yet the day wasn't about the wedding venue - it wasn't really about us either.

After some good old fashioned soul-searching, the Lord was faithful in humbling my heart and reminding me of beautiful truths like this one from 2 Peter 1:

"His divine power has granted to us all things that pertain to life and godliness, through the knowledge of Him who called us to His own glory and excellence...For this reason, make every effort to supplement your faith with virtue, and virtue with konwledge, and knoweldge with self-control, and self-controlw ith steadfastness, and steadfastness with godliness, and godliness with brotherly affection, and brotherly affection with love...For in this there will be richly provided for you an entrance into the eternal kingdom of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ."

It is becoming clearer - the loving Father has richly provided us all things in Christ to satisfy. It is a humbling thing to be bowed down by our own sinfulness and to realize that we are genuinely by nature no different from the unsaved sinner. We are greedy for the same things, hurt by the same things, angered by the same things, forgetful of the same things. The difference is that believers are made holy because God has shown us great compassion and granted us the Holy Spirit to fill us and enable us to do all things for His glory. Wowza. Oh yeah, this does include wedding planning.

Needless to say, Phase III has been refreshing. I'm not going to assume that Bridezillamon won't creep up again sometime or that all the difficult things have passed. However I am assured that His divine power grants all things that pertain to life and godliness - down to the smallest + biggest details of my heart.

Keep an eye out - I'm planning on creating a laundry list of ideas + websites that I often refer to for inspiration. I'll post it up one of these days. =)